Thursday, January 5, 2012

Se-se-securrrr-ity

Terrific. My office building has hired an overzealous security guard who is posted at the entrance of our parking garage. The boy-man resembles GI Joe with his combat pants tucked into his combat boots. I didn't notice this feature of the uniform previously. Perhaps the prior guards just didn't wear it as well.

All I know is that this guy is holding up traffic as he spends garage-rush-hour leaping into car windows, in close-talker proximity to your face, scanning the interior of your vehicle for suspicious objects. Then his eyes dart frantically between your identification badge and your face. Millions of times over. For what seems like an hour. I think he's trying to make me nervous, but I love a good staring contest so it isn't working.

Someone must have told him that the woman in the SUV with two baby seats and a few thousand goldfish and empty juice boxes on the floor is a major threat. I can't say he's completely off base there.

Okay. It's dark and creepy in my office at this moment and I am sort of convinced that GI Joe is hiding behind a file cabinet spying on me. Wait. Did someone say something about bats?

P.S. That's right folks. I have a comment. You know what that means: I'm baaaaaack! No followers yet, but I'm sure they're out there. Probably hiding behind the file cabinet with GI Joe.

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