Deep Thoughts by a Lady in Heels

I have been slacking with recent posts which is okay since no one reads this blog anyway. Here is a random smattering of thoughts that have crossed my mind recently:

• I love it when people wander around in public singing at the top of their lungs. I noticed it recently in a dressing room at the mall and the parking lot of Stop & Shop. To all you American Idol Wannabes, please keep this up. It's seriously hilarious. You simply cannot beat someone getting lost in song. Especially when they're tone deaf. 
• What's with the diagnosis of "exhaustion" that seems to be disproportionately impacting celebrities? I am exhausted. How do I get checked into a special center for some pampering and sleep? I'm not sure if these PR people are trying to cover up celeb rehab or plastic surgery, but if this "exhaustion" center stuff is real, I need in.
• I am convinced that some "people" are actually vessels sent here by God to test my willpower against evil. There is no other explanation for why I am forced to interact with some incredibly useless and difficult people. You know the type. They are insecure about their station in life and make everything harder than it needs to be in an effort to prove they are smarter than you. I have a special message for these people: This. Doesn't. Work. Other (productive) people don't want to work with you. The mere sight of them is exhausting (Note: Does this make me eligible for admission to an exhaustion center?) Noticeable avoidance by others seems to make these people work harder to demand control, which then makes us (smarter) people work harder to avoid them. It's an endless cycle of distraction generated by people with a negative value in the workplace. And I am sorry to say that I'm failing God's test miserably. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that I'm Catholic.
• But hiding in the women's room from the kinds of people referenced above is not a good idea. I tried it last week and got stuck in the stall for 20 minutes. Not only was I trapped in a confined space listening to the annoying-kind demanding that the conscientious-kind slow down and virtually cease all productivity. But I lost at least 40 minutes of my own productivity (20-minutes listening followed by 20-minutes of deep breathing to recenter). I was too far into it when I noticed my easily recognizable shoes sticking out of the stall. Not good. This was an all-around bad judgement call on my part. I can admit that.
• What's with people who make un-funny jokes during presentations? It's annoying. I had to sit through a panel yesterday that was twice as long as it needed to be because some guy mistook our conference room for the Last Comic Standing auditions. The law-making process is not funny, buddy. And the insincere giggles were reactions of sympathy, not humor. Your tribe has spoken. Now, get off this island. If it were only that easy.
• Speaking of tribes and islands, when does the reality tv come back? I miss you, Jeff Probst, Celo-Blake-Christina, and the whole Trump family. Chris Harrison is terrific, don't get me wrong. But he and his roses are simply not enough to keep me entertained through the long, cold winter months. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has just wound down too. It's been a rough week for me, emotionally.
• Groupon has me stumped today. Do I go for 65% off Invisalign or 60% off 20-units of Botox? This decision is paralyzing. I'm sure I need them both, but which do I need more? And is saving for college tuition a worthy sacrifice for beauty. Duh. That's an easy one.