Thursday, May 3, 2012

This has been a brutal week (yes, again). However, I am doing my best not to complain because Thursday is actually my Friday. So here's my best attempt at not complaining.

I spent this week running from building to building all across this fine City. Far too much exercise for me. I seemed to step off of every staircase at the exact moment that the skies opened up and started to downpour. I spent the week looking like a drowned rat in heels. The only thing good about this picture is that I wasn't wearing flats. Phew!

I don't even own an umbrella. I think I had a Coach umbrella once, but since I spend most days trying not to go outside, I have no idea where it could be. Which is probably for the best. I nearly took out an eye when I borrowed one from a colleague this week. The metal spear came out of its doo-hickey-holder and poked some woman in the face. Whoopsie. I could have been sued and wound up soaked anyway. See!  Umbrellas are so not worth it.

Socks on the other hand...Socks are worth it. I am apparently too lazy to slip into some trouser socks during my morning routine and now every toe on both feet (um, that would be all 10) are blistered to the high heaven. The bottoms of each foot are covered with giant blisters.  Gorgeous additions to the orange spray tanned corns that I've been sporting since last week. Why exactly did spray tanning seem like a good idea? Who knows. But it's time to work trouser socks back into the morning routine. Maybe I can swap out something else to make room. Teeth brushing? Hair combing? Eyeliner application? I'll figure this out sooner or later.

I am a gem. It's remarkable that Husband hasn't left me yet. After today's two giant slices of cake, my ass is likely to blow up to be the size of Texas by morning. Now that is sure to be his last straw. I should start packing.

Hopefully this rain will stop soon so I can go back to the hot rollered Farrah-Fawcett-wannabe that he signed up for.  Like he bought me at a silent auction or something. Ha. He wishes. It would have been cheaper than dating me, I'm sure of that.

It's time to call it a week.


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