Superbowl Madness

Let's make one thing very clear: I'm no sports fanatic.  Husband will attest to that. But even I know that the Patriots are playing in the Superbowl this Sunday. It is virtually impossible to find someone in this state - better yet, in this region - who doesn't realize this fact. But sure enough, there is at least one person in my office building without a clue. You're shocked. I know.

While riding the elevator down 21 floors, I made a few stops. The first time I picked up two guys in suits. The second time, I picked up 2 more guys, one wearing a leather bomber jacket with "Patriots" on the back. Notice how I say I picked them up? As if I'm doing them a favor by letting the elevator stop on their floors. Damn right, I am. And yes, leather-bomber-jacket-man thinks he's a T-Bird. One suited-guy taps bomber-jacket-guy on the back on says "Oh, I see you are a sports fan. I am not. How are they doing this season?"  The bomber-jacket guy chuckles then says "I've had this coat for 10 years."  The first guy repeats with no sign of emotion or humor "How are they doing this season?" The bomber-jacket guy stares back at him intently. First he's puzzled, then he's pissed. Apparently the suited-guy honestly didn't know that the Patriots will be playing in the Superbowl this weekend.

I was astonished and delighted all at the same time. This is the weirdest and most entertaining thing I've witnessed all day.

Se-se-securrrr-ity

Terrific. My office building has hired an overzealous security guard who is posted at the entrance of our parking garage. The boy-man resembles GI Joe with his combat pants tucked into his combat boots. I didn't notice this feature of the uniform previously. Perhaps the prior guards just didn't wear it as well.

All I know is that this guy is holding up traffic as he spends garage-rush-hour leaping into car windows, in close-talker proximity to your face, scanning the interior of your vehicle for suspicious objects. Then his eyes dart frantically between your identification badge and your face. Millions of times over. For what seems like an hour. I think he's trying to make me nervous, but I love a good staring contest so it isn't working.

Someone must have told him that the woman in the SUV with two baby seats and a few thousand goldfish and empty juice boxes on the floor is a major threat. I can't say he's completely off base there.

Okay. It's dark and creepy in my office at this moment and I am sort of convinced that GI Joe is hiding behind a file cabinet spying on me. Wait. Did someone say something about bats?

P.S. That's right folks. I have a comment. You know what that means: I'm baaaaaack! No followers yet, but I'm sure they're out there. Probably hiding behind the file cabinet with GI Joe.

Bats

I have gone bat-ass crazy. How do you know, you ask? Well, I dreamt it.  I awoke in a frenzy this very morning after one of the most vivid dreams I've ever had. No, I wasn't falling. But I was refinishing my basement. Something that has been discussed at great lengths in my household, including a conversation yesterday. So, in this "dream" (perhaps better described as a nightmare or even hallucination), I entered the basement prepared to commence construction. Myself. Heh. Little did I know that there was a pack of bats cloaked in the grey of their own wings and disguised as part of the concrete basement floor just steps away. As I started to mount the stick-on ceiling tiles (which looked like crap, by the way), I stepped right into the pack of bats and they swarmed me. Biting and nipping at my whole body.

I should have died from the very shock of this dream.  It was crazy intense. Instead, I woke up thinking that I'd gone mad. What kind of person dreams about being swarmed by bats? Weird, right?

My day went on as I tried to figure out how I was going to cope with insanity. Then I clicked on Boston.com and remembered that I stayed up too late last night to view the 11pm news, where I heard that a local man contracted rabies from a bat bite in his home. Then I heard that bats can bite people while they are sleeping and the little mongrel teeth are so small that the person may not wake up or even notice the bite. Holy crap. Yup, that's scary enough to cause nightmares alright. Here's a clip of the story in the event that you want to go a little nuts too.

Who needs horror flicks when you've got the 11pm news? Serves me right for trying to educate myself by way of mainstream media. Ignorant is by far the best way to go.