30 Months Later...

Well, well, well...  My brother's friendly ex-girlfriend reached out this week and mentioned my blog. Or was it last week? I must admit I'd semi-forgotten about the blog so I took a little peek at my last post and thought: Holy SH**! Things have changed.

Yup, quit my job. Yup, out of my 30s. Yup, had a third kid. I'm more A-Day-In-Flip-Flops now than heels. Damn that Dec 2012 blog post.

Okay, to catch you up:  I quit my job immediately after the 2 week vacation mentioned in the last post. I couldn't get back into the swing of things and it seemed it was time to cut the cord after 15 years. There may have been one or two other little factors swirling around there too, but why waste time on details. I quit and then cried about it for three solid weeks. I'm pretty sure that's not supposed to happen. Fast forward three months, two Disney trips and two Louis Vuitton bags later, and my husband was in a state of sheer panic over our finances (hmm). With no other plan or desire to create one, I started a business. When I say "started a business" I mean doctored up a quick website and printed up some business cards. Oh, and let's not forget the $500 I paid to the state to be a "business." I was already $800 in the hole and had no idea what I was planning to sell or to whom, but as far as my husband was concerned, I was consulting. It was genius. Thankfully karma owed me after 15 years in my last job and wouldn't ya know, the damn business caught on. People told me what I was selling and why and here I am consulting and it's awesome. Except for the whole working-from-the-playroom part, which brings me to the kids.

My kiddos are now 5 and 7. Ouch. Oh yea...and 11 months. Little D is tagging along with us for the ride. Despite what I said in December of 2012, D was not planned and my 40-something year old body is VERY tired, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Aside from the massive food allergies, projectile vomiting, severe eczema and no sleep, he's been great. He's got a head of shiny thick hair that any 40 year old man (and some women) would envy. As my mom says, "He's a doll baby" which I think means he's cute and even tempered. Thank god.

My daughter (5) is another story. I like to think of her as my test from God. And I'm SO failing that test.  My son (7) is 98% kind but the aforementioned female brings out his 2% awful. Let's just say I'm totally trained for my third career: WWE referee.

Now back to me. I put the breaks on my career and started up this business and it's been great...but not as easy as working-from-home-in-yoga-pants might seem. I'm trying the whole work-life-balance thing that all of us real working people know is a load of you-know-what. You're either working or your not...and trying to do both (as I'm doing now) is for the birds. It's a constant battle against the clock that sometimes involves a Hersey bar stuffed into someone's mouth so I can do a conference call. I'm doing the best I can but its not surprising that Botox is in my immediate future. The weirdest moment of my business so far: Having lunch with a potential client and stealing his left over salad and then eating it for dinner. This was an unintentional theft that only a too-old-mother of a kinda-newborn can kinda-get-away-with. Lots of kindas in there. You can imagine the awkward email apology that followed. Heaven help me.

Now on to some recent observations:

• Why is everyone at my local Whole Foods so *&%^$#*& miserable?  It's uncanny how pissed off everyone is in that store. Perhaps the Range Rover is acting up. Maybe they're pissed about the gluten free waffles? I'm only there to feed my non-dairy-soy-wheat-rice-barley child. Perhaps they sense an outsider in their midst? I have half a mind to start a competitor chain where only happy people are allowed. Wait...that's Market Basket, isn't it?  
• I promised myself I'd start eating clean today (the recent experience with a 10-turned-7-day clean diet detox is enough fodder for its own post). But there is a burger on the grill at this very moment and I plan to devour it with reckless abandon as soon its done. Sorry clean eating. Maybe tomorrow.
• My daughter's birthday was in mid-February and I never sent thank you notes. It seems a little desperate to pass them out on the last day of school (tomorrow). I'm thinking I should just embrace the too-busy-for-thank-yous this year and move on with life.  Anyone gossiping about this has already had plenty of time to gossip. There's really no need to inconvenience myself at this point, now is there?
• Crap. Tomorrow is the last day of school.
• I've been married for eight years today. I was sensing a good gift coming my way when I totally blew it and told my husband I wouldn't choose him if I could do it all over again. No idea why I said that. Its not really true (though in some moments it is a clear choice between two fantasies: 1) Having never married him, and 2) Being the star on a 48 Hours episode, so I go with #1). What a jerk to say that out loud. Between comments like that and my outstanding culinary skills, (as evidenced by the photo below of last night's dinner), I'll be lucky to get a bouquet of grocery store carnations tonight. And I call myself a strategist...